My Testament to God's Faithful Loving Care

Faith (n):

: strong belief or trust in someone or something
: belief in the existence of God : strong religious feelings or beliefs

: a system of religious beliefs

 Merriam-Webster

For me, that does not quite cover my personal definition of faith. Leaves too much uncertainty or question of existence.

Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

 Hebrews 11:1

I was born and baptized a Roman Catholic forty-something years ago.
I was raised in a loving, Catholic home and attended Catholic elementary school.
I never wandered away from church for long {did a brief hiatus in my early twenties as most do from time to time}.  
I married a good Catholic man and am raising godly Catholic sons.

I always had faith, but, never truly "got it" until three years ago.


Three years ago was my first conversion, when God called me by name to be closer to Him and I answered the call.  Most likely He was probably a little weary of my walking the walk mostly at the most needed times of my life.  Like I mentioned, I had always been a good, faithful Catholic girl, but, never quite grasped the full and powerful intention of His faith to me!

It began innocently enough during Lent when I picked up a daily Lenten devotional.  You know the kind.  You most likely see them sitting there at your church collecting a little dust at Lent.  Well, this time I picked it up and actually read it...daily...scripture readings and all!  I have been reading it daily for almost four years now and cannot tell you what a difference it has made in my life.

Well, I guess I am about to tell you, aren't I?

That simple call from God was just a mere private message per se.  Nothing more than a teaser now that I think of it.  I have been so happy and filled with His grace over the past three years.  

My little efforts have produced tremendous grace for my family.

It is a simple cycle of the more He calls, the more I answer and the more grace is poured upon all of us.
It is such a lovely cycle too.  It opens my heart to the wants and needs of others and really makes me think more like Jesus and *try* to be kind and childlike in His presence and caring of others.

Now this is just my "backstory", my precursor to the absolutely Earth shattering experience I have had over the past two months.  If I had not personally experienced it all, I am not sure I would have actually believed my own story, but, each and every word of it is true and He has prompted me to share it with you.

I want to warn you...it is not a pretty story filled with hearts and flowers and actually gets mighty icky at times, so be prepared. 

Okay here goes...

I am perimenopausal.  Isn't that a lovely word.  Big word for saying that pretty much everything in my life has been changing physically for the past two years.  Everything that I have known is slowly changing and not always for the good :(  I wish I could say that I have been having hot flashes, night sweats and have been a little moody at times.

Oh how I wish (or maybe not).

No mine has been  weird and as my gynecologist tries to reassure me "it is common, but, not normal."  Just what any woman wants to here about all of the havoc being wreaked in her body, right?  I have always been very predictable in my cycles and never suffered from PMS.  I have had two natural childbirths and a pretty easy C-Section as well.  

I can joke now and say that all of the hormones had to come out somewhere.

Well, on August 19th they came out! 
I thought I was done with my period, but, instead found myself in the emergency room scared to death and bleeding profusely.  I was tested for anemia and if I had been anemic, was going to have an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding.  I was not anemic, was sent home with a prescription for Provera and a diagnosis of Menorrhagia

I had never had such a terrifying experience ever and truly was scared to death!  As we left the hospital I weakly walked to the car and told my husband that I am really over being a girl!  I was too.  I had been through alot in the past two years and the thought of this happening on a regular basis terrified me.

I had heard about this from people, but, like the C-section, never ever thought it was going to happen to me, right?  Well I was wrong on both accounts!

So I spent the next week laid up in bed, exhausted just trying to regain the strength, remain calm while this continued for FIVE more days!  As I laid there terrified, exhausted and very confused, I prayed....ALOT.

It was all I could do that week.  

I prayed for healing.  I begged God to make it stop.  I sat there not wanting to take the hormone medicine that I had heard horror stories about because I was afraid that it would not work and that it would make my Crohn's disease much worse too.  The Crohn's was already in overdrive with all of the anxiety of this and my stomach was twisted for weeks!


August 24
Finally Saturday (day10) I stopped bleeding. I decided over the weekend to call my gynecologist ask to have a D&C just to have peace of mind that this profuse bleeding would not happen again soon and to check the tissue out.  I had wanted to have an ablation done that would pretty much ensure that it would not happen again, but, my doctor did not do them. So I called  and of course he is on vacation! He is always on vacation when my body falls apart!  I told the nurse what I wanted to do and to come in for a consult with him when he got back since God knows how long it is going to take me to get the ablation. She told me that he took a culture at the ER last week and it showed I had a polyp and that I would need the D&C and the ablation. I told her I wanted him to do the D&C asap because I am terrified that I am going to bleed like this again in a few weeks. She said he is booking six weeks out and chances are that I can't undergo anesthesia twice in such a short time. She also said if I decided to take the Provera, once I was done that I would start bleeding again and it takes about three months for it to begin working.  I just started crying on phone with her.

None of this sounded very good to me as the biological clock keeps ticking on and I really felt like a time bomb just waiting to go off again next month!

Again, things were out of my hands.  I was left with no answers, no Earthly help in sight at all.  I was waiting for a referral to a doctor for the ablation and the appointment was nowhere in sight.

August 28:
As I was trying to regain my strength after the fall, my sweet mother-in-law was telling me to eat raisins since they are full of iron.  Well, I love raisins so I did and I ate alot of them.
Note to self:  If you have Crohn's and your tummy does not like alot of fiber, do NOT eat raisins!  I was up all that night with a terrible tummy ache, but, that's okay because I chatted more with Jesus. God really does work in mysterious ways stomach aches and all :-)

I was chatting with Jesus and asking him to stay CLOSE to me and hold me and comfort me instead of asking for him to make this STOP, NOW! While I was thanking him and begging his closeness 

I could hear him say "I love you."

I loved that and it makes me feel SO good. Also...I have been getting feelings about scripture saying "Your faith has set you free" so I Googled it and it led me to Mark5:34 about the woman with the hemorrhages for 12 years. Talk about AMAZING! There are no coincidences in life, just God's Divine Providence and He is SO good to me right now.

She said, "If I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured."

Mark 5:28

This phrase became my mantra of sorts!  I found myself meditating upon it repeatedly for the following month.

September 10

Over the next few weeks, my body stabilized and I felt good again and went to work on my mission to find a doctor who would do the surgery before this happened again!  I was on the phone crying {literally} with each and every doctor's office I could get in touch with and still waiting for that original referral a month later!

I made an appointment with another doctor in town who I had never heard of, but, needed this appointment...desperately!

I just could not do this again.

September 13 
I began having flashes of light in my right eye, but,was going to go to the optometrist on Monday as this was the weekend.  More about this later. 

Feed your fears and your faith will starve.

Feed you faith and your fears will.

~Max Lucado

September 17-19

I was supposed to see him on 9/19, but, they called me with a cancellation to come in on 9/17 and I grabbed it and we were good to go.  He wanted to use a Novasure equipment that of course my hospital did not have and they were going to request it.  I told him that I would take any type of ablation they could do and he said they would call me when they knew.

More waiting....

But, God was again playing His hand for me with that cancellation because I began bleeding the next day and would have never made it in for my appointment on 9/19!  There is no way.  I was laid out again in bed.  Just me and Jesus, but, this time I called on some more friends.

 I decided to storm Heaven.

 I called on every saint I could get my hands on to intercede for me and bring my prayers to the Blessed Virgin Mary to give to her loving Son.

I also was {still am} saying Mother Teresa's emergency novena, which is the Memorare. 
It was not so much a novena as I have been saying it for over a month now followed by the Our Lady of Lourdes Novena as well.

I had already been offering up my suffering with Crohn's on behalf of several people and the salvation of my family, but, also figured this was a good thing to offer up as well as *best* as I could with a good, but, not so happy heart at the time.


September 24
Feeling well enough to call the optometrist and get the flashes, dots and spots in my right eye checked out I made an appointment to be seen that day.  After a long and thorough examination I was told that I had torn the retina in my right eye.  I just broke into tears.  I really could not take any more at this time.  My poor optometrist had just heard my story of the recent suffering.  By the grace of God it was a small tear and he told me how very fortunate I was to catch it in time and not lose the sight of that eye!  Right there and then I had 162 lasers in that eye to repair the tear.  It was a painful experience and I had an excruciating headache the rest of the day {and this comes from a migraine prone momma!}

September 25
I received a call from the gynecologist's office telling me that I was scheduled for surgery on 10/14 for a thermal ablation as the special equipment had not been received.  I ran throughout the house praising God, was so incredibly thankful and while dancing with my kids for joy!


October 3
I went for my pre-op appointment with my doctor only to be advised that not only had the hospital received that special equipment, but, they were moving my surgery off another week until 10/21!!!  I was not a happy person at all.  I did not want to wait another week seeing we were coming to "that time"  again and I really truly did not want to endure more suffering.  I told my doctor as nicely as possible how I just could not do this again and he wanted me to take the Provera to make sure I would not get a period. My entire family had a cold running through the house for the past month and I was telling my kids not to sneeze all over mommy because they won't take me if I am not well.  It took me longer to get over the cold than usual due to my compromised body.

I left upset and with more decisions to make...yet again.

So...faced with more decisions to make...I prayed more fervently.

I truly did not want to take that medicine.  It scares me and I have been so fortunate not to have to take any medicine {even for the Crohns's}.  I have always tried to live as naturally as possible, so all of this was going against what I strive to do.

I talked to many people and most of them said that they "were fine" on Provera.  Not staggering positive advertisement as far as I am concerned!  Most people said that they had terrible migraines and stomach distress.  Again...things that did not appeal to me.

I was spent, tired and depleted...
physically and mentally.  

I had very little to offer anyone during this time.  I was suffering and needed it to end, because I wanted to go back to what I had and what I had foolishly taken for granted for so long. I longed for the busy days with my sons loving and learning and having carefree fun!  I longed to feel well and worry free. I longed not to think twice about what time of the month is was and where I was in my cycle in order to plan my days. I never realized how good good was.  I mean I *know* that I am incredibly blessed, love my life and my family so very much, but, we all tend to take these things in stride in our dailiness just trying to make it through all of the normal challenges in the day, never mind being in survival mode.

 I just longed for my parents who are up in Heaven.  I felt like a little girl just wanting her Daddy to scoop her up and make it all better.  To make all of the decisions and not to have to worry about any of it.

That is what I had, but, did not realize it until after September 17th.
I had asked my Father to carry me, hold me and make it all better.
I asked for the impossible as far as I was concerned being the mere mortal going through all of the suffering.

I could not do this by myself, so I had to rest in Him...completely.

It was the only way to make it through.

So that is what I did. I took a total leap of faith and rested in Him. At day 17 of my cycle I rested in Him that He would carry me through all the way to my surgery and get me through this whole ordeal.

I did not take the Provera and *knew* this time that I would not get a period before the surgery.  I should have.  If I did the math, which I neurotically did daily, I would have.  It was just a matter of time.

I wasn't going to worry.  I was just going to rest in Him and I did. 

The week before the surgery was sacredly delightful.  It was filled with God's continued grace. 

"It's what you'd always dreamed but never expected.  It's the too-good-to-be-true coming true.  It's having God as your pitch hitter, your lawyer, your dad, your biggest fan and your best friend!" 

~ Max Lucado

We were blessed by many beautiful days leading up to my surgery.

We had a week's worth of absolutely gorgeous sunsets in which he painted the sky my favorite color of pink.  We had hundreds of geese flying overhead and stopping in the field near our house for an overnight rest.  We had an amazing day celebrating where my husband proposed to me and it was all gorgeous, sweet and comforting in a time that could have been dark, frightening and uncertain.

I knew He was with me.  There was absolutely no question about it.  I could actually feel Him and the many prayers being said for me.  I have never had that type of experience before and let me tell you it is truly amazing.  I was so calm and peaceful before, during and after the surgery.  I was relaxed and making jokes at the hospital and thanking everyone I came in touch with for taking good care of me.  It was all good and for that I am very thankful.

I went into the idea of having the surgery praising and thanking God.  I sat in church the day before and cried tears of joy and thanks as it all finally hit me that this was almost over. If we are filled with Thanksgiving for the day to day blessings (which may sometimes be hard to find) there is NO room for the emotions which seem to interfere with our relationship with God - anger, fear, jealousy, complaining and despair.  I truly believe that is why I was so calm.  

God meets us in our mess.

He meets us on our knees,

in our beds,

in our cars,

in our kitchens making dinner for our family,

at work and at play.

He meets us in our brokenness and our lowest points. 

He will find us and rescue us, if we let Him in.

All He asks is for a mustard size seed of faith.

He will add the water and grow faith in your heart the size of a Sequoia, if you let Him!

We must come to God humbly and trust that He will greatly bless our little faith.

We need to come to Him thirsty and drink deeply in His loving kindness.  He truly wants what is best for us and nothing makes Him happier than to help us with what He wants for us. He knows what is best for us and will never abandon us.  No struggles come our way without His presence, purpose or permission.  There is no fate or chance, just His Divine Providence to guide, comfort and see us through the many storms of life.

Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want.  It is the the belief that God will do what is right.  

While I'm Waiting...

A very sweet person told me to listen to this song and thought I would find it inspirational right now.

She was right :-)

This is from the soundtrack, "Fireproof"...John Waller, "While I'm Waiting."

Great movie, great song, great timing, Mary!

Love when I get what I need when I need it :-)

Stop the Bus...I Wanna Get Off

Do you ever wish life came with a nice little cord like you see on a bus that you can pull when it is time to get off at a new stop?  I do.  You could just reach up, pull the cord and off you go to your new destination.  Unfortunately, most days life is not that simple.  I found that out last week.  I am in the midst of perimenopause hell and the past two years have been a challenge to say the least.  I am not talking hot flashes or mood swings.  I have been getting weird hormonal changes that bring on strange things.  The latest chapter in this unfolded last week and actually brought me to the ER :( 

After being seen there it was discovered that I have a uterine polyp and need surgical intervention to make things nice nice again.  Unfortunately I have been waiting for a week for the referral and fear the same thing happening again to me before I have the procedure done.  I can honestly say that last week was one of the worst weeks in my life and as I waited patiently and exhausted in the hospital bed for the test results to come in, I was looking for anything...something to ease my fear.  Just a word of reassurance to tell me that everything would be okay, that I would be fine.  I was told that what was going on was "not normal, but common."  That seems to be my mantra for the past two years.  Everything I have been experiencing physically has not been "normal"...well not normal to me anyway.

So..as I lay in bed recuperating for the week I had lots of time to spend in somewhat quiet reflection.  Nothing quite like bringing you to your knees to make you slow down and put life in proper perspective. I spent {and continue to} lots of quality time speaking with Jesus, asking for his comfort and strength to get me through this and make me well.  I was reassured of His constant love and care for me and that makes me feel better.  I have been asking His guidance through all of this too and to keep me strong, both physically and mentally, because I know it is most likely going to get worse before it gets better and the thought of that truly scares me.

Back to that bus metaphor...I don't want to "get off" of the bus so to speak.  I like my bus, but, feel that over time I have made a few wrong transfers to get to my destination.  None of this has anything to do with me physically.  I just feel that life has somewhat gotten away from me in the past year or so and although I am making strides to get us back to where I would like to be...it has been a long process of two steps forward, one step back {some days it is more one step forward and two steps back}.

Life is fleeting and short for all of us.  Nothing tells you how it is, more like having a health scare and even if mine is nothing really in the grand scheme of health scares, it is pretty scary to me!  We all take life for granted and run through it like mice in a maze most days just trying our best to get things done.  Things...we all have so many things that need our attention.  There is such a long list of things that it could go on and on for days, or so it seems.

There is...
the laundry, the dishes, the meal preparation and cleanup, the housework, the schooling, trying to make things lovely for your family throughout the year with celebrations and holidays and birthdays, the bills, the home improvements, the kids commitments (scouts, church school, sports, friends etc), our social activities, and I won't even mention the myriad of appointments that are made for a regular year as well!

All of that takes up time!  Alot of time that can be spent doing other more important things...like living and loving your family.  I know that all of this is loving your family and needs to be done, but, sometimes, some days can it all just wait?

It all waited last week.  My men did their best to keep the homestead running and they did a good job, but, the rest of it waited.  It is still waiting actually and that is OKAY.


I know that I get in a groove sometimes where I get alot of things done.
I go in waves of production.  Or at least I think I do.  There are weeks where I will go through the house making a grand effort to simplify our lives and remove all of the stuff that clutters up our lives.  And that is good, but, it takes up alot of time.  Time that can be spent living and loving.  Again, it is something that needs to be done, but is not imperative.

So...here I sit...
waiting for my bus.

I have to make the choice of which bus to get on. 

Do I get on the bus that I think will make life smoother, or, do I wait for the bus that God leads me to that is best right for my family?

The second bus, will most likely take me longer to get to the destination that I want to be.  It may not even lead me where I would like to go.  It will most likely take the scenic route and there will be many nice things, and a few not so nice I am sure, to see along the way.

I *need* to be on that second bus and get a good seat and strap myself in safely and securely by keeping myself right along side of Jesus.  I know that it can be a rough ride at times and I want to make sure I have Him to hold on to and reassure me that it will all be fine and that I can do all things with and through Him.

The Ten Things That Homeschooling Has Taught Me

Mary @ Home grown learners has a wonderful post on how homeschooling has changed her life that inspired me to create a similar list, but, mine is more what *I* have learned over the past six years of homeschooling my boys.  It is a top ten list of sorts ;)


1.  Slow and steady wins the race

   I remember when I first began homeschooling my oldest son.  I had small and narrow     goals for us that year.  We worked on the necessities {or what I thought they were at   the time}...The 3 R's, art, science, and having fun!  I was thinking strictly in the box and ordered a packaged curriculum that year and even registered with them and had records and the whole kit and kaboodle!  It was a lot of paperwork for Kindergarten and we did not repeat that again for anyone else.  Over the past six years my hopes and dreams for my sons have enormously expanded and I see now the blessing and beauty of homeschooling.  It is an ongoing 24/7, 365 days a year learning experience and truth be told, my sons have learned the most important lessons in life from the little moments that were spontaneous and unplanned!

2.  Keep your eyes on your own paper

I need to confess that over the past six years, I have shuffled things up a bit more than need be.  I try to read a few {not too many} blogs of the ones listed here, occasionally at best.  I have seen some wonderful ideas from many talented mommas out there and thought to myself that it would be great for our family too, but, that was not always the case.  I have found some really amazing things for us to utilize in our homeschool from others, but, one click on the internet usually turns into way more than that one click in the long run and after many minutes, usually trying to reinvent the wheel is a colossal waste of time!  Time wasted that could be better used on other things, like enjoying time with my family :-)


3.  Invite the Holy Spirit into your school each and every day.
I have found that the best days we have I leave time free in our schedule to be open to His guidance.

4.  Patience is a virtue

Although you may plan to spend a certain amount of time on something, life seldom goes as planned ;)  This especially applies to math!  You can almost see those little wheels turning inside their heads some days and you really, really, really just want to blurt out the answer that they are struggling with, but, you don't.  Instead you choose patience with a smile and watch them and encourage them and then it clicks and you all smile :-)

5.  Reading Aloud is FUN! 
 I have always loved reading and was taught my love of reading from my momma who could devour a 300 page book in a few short days!  We try to read aloud frequently throughout the day... during school, before school, after lunch etc--->  It is actually a daily thing we've worked on throughout the year and over the year the boys have really come to enjoy the books and look forward to it.

6.  People are WAY more important than things.
They always were, but, now with once income you realize you really don't need all of the things that everyone else has to make you happy.


7.  I am more confident with choices I make for my family and not always following the easy smooth road that others follow.
We've always made choices along the way that do not always follow the norm:  Natural childbirth, baby wearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping are a few of them, so, really homeschooling was really the next logical step in our journey :-)  I love the choices we make for our family and am proud of the love and prayers that surround them.

8.  Homeschooling is a 24/7, 365 days a year life embracing experience. 
 This one is ongoing for me and each year I embrace it a little bit more and realize that my kids are ALWAYS learning, whether we are "doing school" or not.  In the beginning, I made "school" and we did "school" at certain times with certain things.  I would stress out if we were not able to do what was planned for the day too.  Over the years I have learned as much as the kids.  I know that learning is not just about sitting and paying attention at certain times during the day and that true education happens *all day long* and I LOVE that.  I cannot tell you how many times my face has lit up with the expression of how cool something is that just happened that was totally unplanned and happened to be a huge learning opportunity.  I love God-incidences!  See #3 about inviting the Holy Spirit into your homeschool.  He will come if you invite Him :-)

9.  This is the way that life is supposed to be, blessed by God as a family to be in harmony and at peace with each other and work as one to do His will. 
Finding your rhythm is essential.  It takes time and patience on everyone's part, but, you will find it.  I am still finding ours, a little at a time.

10.  I love learning with my children and seeing EVERYTHING through their eyes and being SO blessed to witness all of the firsts and continuing firsts.  My heart just bursts with joy some days. I can say hands down that this is the most rewarding, most challenging thing I have ever done in my life.  It is a HUGE investment, but, the payment is even BIGGER and that makes my heart happy.  It is not just about learning the ABCs or 123s, but, helping to shape my boys into good people who will do God's will and for me that is WAY too important to simply hand over to someone else to accomplish.

Recovering After the Great Fall

It's been a little while since I have last checked in.
My computer had a major crash last week.  It is never a good thing to turn on your computer and be greeted with a totally black screen with white writing on it stating that your system is corrupt!


Fortunately our neighbor is a genius in this area and was wonderful and took my computer home and worked on it for days.  He is a student and really enjoyed the challenge.

 He and I have differing views of enjoying a challenge, lol! 


Three years ago it had been infected with a virus and the same thing happened.  It was at the shop for a week and I lost everything I had on it.  I am not big on backing up things that I should (pictures, documents and other things) and unfortunately this time around I cannot say I was better prepared for the great fall.


I sat that day and made peace with the idea of losing it all.
Losing all of our personal and financial documents that were gathered over the past four years.
Losing all of our homeschool records ( of course these were backed up with hard copies)  tons and tons of resources, bookmarks, shortcuts to great ideas and all of the planning I did over the past few months for the next school year.
Losing all of the pictures that I took for the past four years as well as many baby pictures of my boys.



I know you are probably thinking...why did she let herself be so vulnerable?  I don't have an answer, but, all I can say is that there is so much time in a day and time tends to get away from me most days.



So...I made peace with losing it all and really I was okay with it once I realized that I had at least 100+ pictures on Shutterfly that I had made into photobooks .  Once I realized that I felt fine.  It was really the pictures that bothered me.  The rest was just stuff and over time stuff can be recreated.



Of course I was trying to explain all of this to Lovey Dovey and as in his usual extremely precocious and totally sweet manner he said "Mommy, you don't need all of those pictures you have ME!"

How right he is!


I think the computer was waging war with me since I am trying my best to unplug more.  I really did not mean to totally unplug, lol!   Maybe it missed me?


Now I am coming out of the ashes...and believe it or not I found all of our stuff too!  The only thing I really lost was all of my music, but, that is fine.


It was really a cleansing of the soul.  I totally detached from my stuff and made peace with the idea of losing it all, because as Lovey Dovey told me I do have him  and that is the only thing that really matters.


So slowly I am rebuilding, reinstalling and recreating and will be saving things to a flash drive ;)


Maybe it is good to lose it all every once in a while.  It is very liberating and can put everything in perspective for you.

 A little deep cleaning is good for the soul!

Mid Lenten Assessment and the Need to Slow Down

So here we are on day 19 and just about halfway through Lent already! It always blows me away how fast we make the journey from Ash Wednesday to Easter each year. I wanted to take a few moments to reflect on our progress thus far. The first two weeks were met with great enthusiasm and we really made an effort to repent, reflect and rejuvenate. Last week particularly was phenomenal as I felt the Holy Spirit guiding me along my journey and made great strides in daily tasks (great week for purging!) and came to some good solutions on a few things that had been on my mind. I have not had a week that good in many months and the enthusiasm and euphoric feelings that accompanied the increased effort and attentiveness to His way were wonderful!


This week however has not been as fruitful and has led to feelings of being somewhat overwhelmed and hurried. I naturally am a fixer by nature and always trying to make our lives better, be it simplifying or trying to come up with a better way to do things (mostly in the homeschooling or organizational area of life). For the past month my thoughts have been of this nature. I feel rushed frequently and do not enjoy that at all. I would hate to think how much more rushed I would be if my kids went to school and there was all of that extracurricular activity that occurred after school! Makes my mind spin!


I actually need some time just to sit, peacefully with a cup of tea and reflect.
It is not looking good for that to happen this week, but, there is always hopes for the weekend.
I need to just sit and not think. I am not good at not thinking. There have been many nights were I struggle to not think and just peacefully drift off to sleep or back to sleep as the night may play out. I am a thinker over-thinker by nature.


I need to sit, quietly in Jesus' presence and just listen as He speaks to me.
Like I said, these days I am feeling very rushed and when I do take time to meditate, sit quietly, play with my kids my mind is usually on to the next task already. For example, I really do not need to be putting my thoughts down here right now, but, I figure if I do it is a good reality check and reflection as long as I keep it simple.



That is the key...to simplify things...all things in moderation.
That is also a good way to look at Lent. It is a time to reflect on our lifestyles and how we view life, people and things and to put them all in to the proper perspective. It is nice to have things and go to wonderful places , but, when things take over our lives we lose our way in life and feel empty inside.



Each day I begin in prayer before I get out of bed and pray for guidance for that day. Then I get out of bed and there are days where it is more like shot out of a cannon. Someone should be standing near me yelling "And she's off!" I do my daily tasks for the morning like all moms do and then we begin school and before I know it, it is time for lunch. Then we take a little break...Momma reads some scripture and the boys are free to play for a while. Next we begin school again for the afternoon block. Once that is completed we have free time to do whatever we want. I say the Divine Mercy Chaplet, the boys run around and play (mostly outside this week enjoying the gorgeous weather) and then it's almost time to make dinner. In between all of the busyness I run from room to room from child to child and loads of laundry and dishes and a barking dog thinking there must be a simpler way to do all of this.



This is the quest I am on...to find a way that is more simple relaxed and glorifies God and reflects His will. I know that there is no easy fix and that the only way I will find this is by slowing myself and my family down to listen to Him.



That is what I have planned for the remainder of Lent.
We will take small steps to continue our efforts of penance, reflection and rejuvenation while in the midst of the great purge (love finding new homes for things we have not touched in so long!).
I still am itching to find that quick fix that does not exist and let me tell you I have countless books sitting on my nightstand about finding peace and organization to prove it.


I could very easily go on more about this topic, but, my timer just went off to let me know it is time to prepare dinner and then I have some lesson plans that need to be written and a little knitting I would like to do, before making the last great dash towards the finish line for the day.

Hope you are all well and enjoying your own Lenten journeys!

There Really Needs to be 27.5 Hours in a Day

Homeschooling can really be both a blessing and a challenge at times.

I find myself waking in the morning refreshed (most mornings anyway) and ready to take on the day. Said day progresses with breakfast, morning chores and a quick check of email and off to school! Before I know it lunch time has rolled around and we take a break for a little while. The little people let off lots of energy and then it's off to school again for my oldest while the younger ones and I do various things around the house.

I begin each week by making a list of things to do. I have a nice system where I divide my tasks into four categories: places to go, school (short term goals for the week), home (long term goals that I *try* to work on) and miscellaneous. It really is a great list and would work so much better if there were 27.5 hours in each day!

Every day it seems that 3pm rolls around a little earlier than the day before. I know it is not possible, but, it feels that way to me, lol! It is 3:12 pm as I write this post ;) This time in the afternoon warns of the day coming to a close. It is almost time to make dinner, more things to clean before going to bed, little ones that need baths, books read to them and cuddling. Before I know it is bedtime again and that long list remains unattended.

I am trying to become more organized and at the same time *trying* to embrace that "With God all things are possible." Some days it is easier than others and I am getting better at realizing that I am doing what *needs* to be done for that given day.