Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Buh-Bye 45!

Wow!  It has been a while since my last visit.  So long in fact that Blogger changed their format on me!
We've been busy with birthdays (Handsome and Daddy), Holy Week and Easter, CAT testing, heading into the end of the school year and planning for the next.  Anyone who homeschools knows this is alot to process in a few weeks!

I gratefully say buh-bye to 45 on April 29th and am truly looking forward to it!

The past year was filled with much physical and mental anguish and I am happy to be putting it all behind me :D
It all started a little over a year ago when I tore my rotator cuff (which is still healing).  That was my first chronic thing physically and something that took time to adapt. Once I became comfortable with the condition, another set in and once that one cleared another came on.  The last one that came was actually the first in disguise since it has been brewing since December 2010.  I had been having many, many stomach aches (not stomach literally, more of the digestive area) for a looooong time and in September I decided to be proactive about it and really try to figure it out (via testing and a referral to a gastroenterologist) and find a solution to it all.  After months of testing and pain I discovered a few other chronic things (a nasty side effect of testing is that you find other things you were not looking for!).  None of these were life threatening, but, some modifications to my daily routine could be made.  It all came to a pinnacle three days before Christmas when I was diagnosed with early mild Crohn's disease.

The year seemed to be filled with one cross after another. I am naturally a worrier by nature so all of these crosses did not bide well on my already ill digestive system!  Word to the wise...digestion is directly affected by stress and not in a good way!

So.... along the way I cheerfully picked up my crosses and went on with my life.
Oh how I wish this were the case.  I did just the opposite.  The last three months of last year were filled with fear and anguish and a little bit of pity.  I was overwhelmed, confused and pretty frightened.  I did not get alot done due to the fear and I hated that most of all.

Fast forward to New Years of this year....
I decided to take a very proactive approach to all of this as I was so exhausted from all of the worry.  It serves absolutely no purpose and is so incredibly draining!  In the wonderful words of Padre Pio...

 "Pray, hope and don't worry.  Worry is useless.  God is merciful and will hear your prayer."

So that's what I did. I prayed and placed all of my fears with Him.
I made some major dietary and lifestyle changes which included the biggest one of all...
to just LET GO and LET GOD.
And you know what....it worked :D

I am so happy to say that as of the first Friday in Lent I have been in remission healed.  I don't like the term in remission especially since I have placed my trust in God and the Holy Spirit to lead me to make good choices daily when it comes to eating and stress.  I like thinking in thoughts of being healed :D

Now that the anguish, fear, suffering and the like have been gone for almost two months I am like a flower and blossoming and stretching my hands up to God in praise and thanks daily and thrilled to take up the smaller daily crosses and walk with Him doing His will.

Six months ago I would have never thought that there were any positives to the past year at all, but, there were blessings right along with the suffering.
I have literally at times been on my knees praying for Jesus to take away the pain and fear and that has brought me even closer to Him being so childlike with Him.

 So humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time.  Cast all your worries upon Him because He cares for you. 1Peter5:6-7

I had thought that our  school year suffered and I did not get everything done just the way that I had planned to, but, test scores and all of the work we did throughout the year say otherwise.  It has also led me to make some major changes in the way that we school here which I will talk more about in a different post. Very exciting changes are in the making!

So with only five days left of being 45 I can say that this was perhaps the most challenging year of my life and I am so grateful to have weathered the storms and truly know that I would not have made it through without Jesus by my side and for that I am truly grateful!   I look forward to turning 46 and hope that the coming year will be filled with unbelievable blessings for everyone I know!


  1. Happy and blessed (almost) birthday, Ann-Marie! I'll be right behind you saying bye bye to 45 before long:) Yes, you have certainly had a challenging year. I never cease to be amazed at how God puts such beauty into our sadness and how the nail prints in His hands spell out our names. God Bless you abundantly this coming year, dear friend!

  2. Ann-Marie, what a positive outlook you have !! Sometimes we need those low points to help us go to God for help. I'm one who wants to fix stuff myself and put all my trust in myself and my own power to accomplish things. How peace-filled we can be once we turn it over to Our Lord for healing. Congratulations to you on your changes in diet etc. I hope you have a beautiful 46th year.